Controversy Strikes Again!

Written by Tevin on January 9, 2008 – 8:06 pm -

Yesterday was a controversial topic for many readers.

The Success Attitude - What 90% of people DON’T HAVE! discussed how responding positively to others AND to yourself will set you up for success.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying, BECAUSE you are positive you are going to be successful.

As Stephan Miller from http://www.stephanmiller.com/ comments:

“But I have seen some people take this too far. They think they positivity is all it takes. It takes some work also.”

This is a great point. I would elaborate say that it takes more than “some” work. It takes TONS of work to become a huge financial success. But you are nearly dead from the start if you allow yourself to be negative, and overrun by your emotions.

Today I am going to tell you EXACTLY how you can begin to TAKE CONTROL your emotions so that, you litteraly CHOOSE YOUR MOOD no matter what’s going on in your life.

Many people feel their emotions are something of a subconscious reaction to things. Something your predisposed to, and you have little to no control over.

But the fact is, this is COMPLETELY FALSE. You in fact (in nearly every occasion) have TOTAL control over your emotions, and how you let them effect you.

(But first let me break this down, so I’m not misunderstood. I think we can agree there are certain times of tragedy, or other significant events in our lives, that warrant depression, mourning, or melancholy, and similar emotions. These are not the emotions I’m referring to control. I do not mean to be insensitive.)

Your emotions are like a camera.

Because just like a camera, your emotions can only focus in on any one thing at a time. For instance, it is nearly impossible to be furious with anger, and yet be still feel joyous enough to be overcome with laughter. And in the event that you are overcome with laughter, you are no longer furious.

And understanding that your emotions work this way, you can learn to begin to control them. As I have. You can begin to choose your mood. No matter what’s going on in your life, or going on around you.

Let me tell you a personal story. This was me just about 3 years ago, right after I graduated high school:

I used to spend days on end, feeling sorry for myself. Being an emotional wreck. Depressed.

I was totally ambivalent to the world around me. I just didn’t care anymore. People came, people went. I stopped paying attention. “My life sucks” I would think.

I was paralyzed with depression.

Then one day. Everything changed. I immediately felt fantastic. I felt thrilled. Upbeat. I had my humor back. People were laughing around me, people enjoyed being around me. I was ME again.

How? I made a decision.

In all of my introspection, I realized that I was depressed, about being depressed! Sure there were things I could point out if asked “why the long face”.

  • I hate school. I have no purpose here.
  • I hate my job. This isn’t what I want to do.
  • I’m broke because I gamble too much.
  • I can’t find a girl to save my soul, I must be undateable, unattractive, unappealing, etc.
  • I’m not good at anything
  • I just don’t feel good
  • I’m not active anymore
  • blahblahblah I feel sorry for myself blahblahblah

You see, just like a camera can only focus on any on thing at any one time. I was only focusing on all the supposedly depressing things in my life.

I realized, even while I was depressed that I was not in a productive state of mind. So I made a decision, at that very moment. That I had no good damn reason to be depressed. Look at all the things I have to be thankful for!

  • I get to find out my purpose in an environment that lets me try new things.
  • My job is only temporary, and I still have money to do the things I love to do with the people I love to do them with.
  • I can quit gambling, at any point it time. Problem solved.
  • Single is better!
  • I’m great at a lot of things. And I’m only getting better!
  • “I think I’ll go for a run”
  • Life is freaking great.

I began to focus on different sides of the exact things that were depressing me. And by forcing myself to look at all the positives in my life, I realized there is no use being depressed, if I didn’t like something, I have the opportunity to change. To improve.

Now I never will get depressed for more than a few hours. And as soon as I realize that I am “feeling sorry for myself” I am able to snap out of it. Because I just force myself to focus on the many great things I have going. I force myself to smile. It’s nearly impossible to be depressed if you’re smiling. Eventually you realize the limitless opportunity, if you indeed just focus on it.

Actively choosing exactly what to focus your emotions on is just one of many tactics I use. I urge you to at least try, and let me know your results. I’ll be letting you in on a few more of my “brain secrets” over the coming weeks.

Cheers Everyone!

- Tevin


Tags:
Posted in Advice |

RSS feed | Trackback URI

9 Comments »

Comment by Stephan Miller
2008-01-10 05:23:28

Focus is right. But many around you will misunderstand you and call you an %$#hole. You have to overcome that also. Because those people usually are time wasters.

 
Comment by Life is Colourful
2008-01-10 11:23:39

Sorry for offtopic: I am little disappointed to see Scratchback taking top place than our personal advertisements. We advertised in the hopes of getting some traffic and exposure from your site and not pushing our banners down the fold. This is not good to keep the spots at the top while selling the ads and then changing the spot positions.

Please reply.
Thanks,
Admin
http://www.lifeiscolourful.com

 
Comment by Adam
2008-01-11 11:53:55

That “Blogging to the Bank” website on your banner is MEGA spammy and you have to navigate a maze of pop-ups just to CLOSE the damn thing!

You should remove that banner. All it’s going to do it piss off your visitors. I’m still pissed about it….

 
2008-01-11 12:18:12

That is a perfect outlook. A friend of mine once said, “If you don’t like your life, change it.” I had a crappy year last year and when I think of how much time I wasted feeling sorry for myself, it’s rather sad. No more, my friend.

 
Comment by Bigrayvin
2008-01-11 13:32:52

Ahh Focus!!! The power of focus is great and can really help a person achieve some great things. I personally am trying focusing on certain things in my life and let me tell you it is not easy but it is great all the same because I know if I continue practicing this exercise I would get better at it.A Tevin maybe you can focus all the useless comments/complainers off your post. So the real people can engage in true discussions :)

 
Comment by Tevin
2008-01-11 15:04:25

@ Bigrayvin

Thank you for your kind words. As far as the other commenters, I will not delete them because I do not believe in censoring my readers.

If they have a problem, I’ll let them air their grievances.

I appreciate both positive and negative feedback as it helps me and my blog grow.

 
Comment by Tevin
2008-01-11 15:05:58

@Stephan Miller

I completely agree. I have been called an asshole many times. I does not faze me in the least.

Some people like me, like what I have to say, and like how I say it. Others do not. I cannot go around my entire life trying to please everyone. I can only concentrate on making myself a better person.

 
2008-01-12 18:51:30

I am very glad to read your post, it helps to see others apply this principle and do so successfully.
Positive thinking is harder for some then others, but if they have some one who can relate in some way, it is a comfort.
Your blog is a great place for those of us who are ‘baby’ blogger to come and learn.
Thank you for being so open, and helpful.

 
2008-01-21 20:12:10

[…] emotions so that, you litteraly CHOOSE YOUR MOOD no matter what’s going on in your life, in my Controversy Strikes Again […]

 
Name (required)
E-mail (required - never shown publicly)
URI
Subscribe to comments via email
Your Comment (smaller size | larger size)
You may use <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> in your comment.